Taking the plunge

All of a sudden, quite a lot of new stuff coming up all at the same time…

I’ve been on the singing team at church for quite a while – not bad as a way to be involved, and more creative than cleaning the loos.  (If you’ve come up with a creative way of cleaning loos, let me know.  Although it may depend on what state the loo was in to start with.  Maybe we’ll leave that one there…)  This means I turn up around once a month, practise the songs with the band, learn any new ones, and sing with the rest of the band during the morning service.

This morning, things felt a big sluggish, and I could feel myself getting a bit miffed, because we were singing some good stuff about God.  There are usually gaps for people to sing out their own songs to God (ie made up on the spot, though usually familiar words), and all of a sudden I found myself doing this.

Now you might think that if I could sing into a microphone in front of others, it wouldn’t be such a big deal to do this.  But it’s bit nerve wracking, particularly with the thought “Is this right?  Is this what God wants to say at this point?”  And I don’t want to sing platitudes for the sake of it, just because there’s a gap.

I was almost literally shaking by the end of it…but I also knew that it had all come from God.  Because the uncertainty went, the words were there, the tune was there, and somehow, I also knew how to lead it back in so that others could sing bits of it too.

Why write about this?  Because it’s another mark of what God has been changing in me.  I love music, I’ve sung or played for ages.  But it’s taken nearly ten years to break through to this in what is my familiar church, the place where all the significant things have happened since I became a Christian.

Coming home afterwards, I spoke on the phone to Dan’s mum, and was mentioning a group I’ve been to one life stages.  Talking to another person in the group, they had also experienced changes, confusion, but a greater creativity coming with it.  It’s something I’ve found too, that’s moved me on to getting this laptop and writing.  But to gain this for something else that’s important to me…I didn’t hope for it.  I didn’t ask for it.  But I’m certainly grateful.

Will I do it again?  Perhaps the more important issue is: am I prepared for God to do it again? I think the answer has to be yes.

Will I go along with Him?  If He can help me, and show me now, the hardest step has already been done.