This post is dedicated to Nico van Loenen, who died on Wednesday. Nico and his family lived two doors up from us when I was at secondary school. Our families became friends soon after we moved to Malvern.
Nico and my dad would hang out together on Tuesdays, when I, my mum and Nico’s wife Daphne went off to choir. Their evenings involved wine, sometimes gruesome films, arguments that they both enjoyed a lot. And probably much more…I wasn’t there to see.
After Mum and Dad moved up to Scotland, Dad would still phone Nico. In the last few months, when we knew that Nico had terminal cancer, Dad continued to phone on Tuesday nights.
No one wants an ending, but we all have one anyway. In Nico’s case, huge numbers of family and friends came to say goodbye, from many different countries. We had time with him in April, and had to say our goodbyes face to face at that point, but I’m glad Dad continued to speak to him.
“Hello my girl…” was Nico’s regular greeting. It seems strange to think that I won’t be greeted in that way again – I even hear him say it when I think of him tonight. Goodbye, my father’s friend, and also mine, I say. Hail and farewell, ave atque vale.
Just reading this, unwisely while at work, and it makes me cry and smile. Thank you Alison.. I hear him saying ‘Hello my girl’ too. What are we going to do without him?
He actually died on Thursday morning when we’d all gone downstairs for coffee. He couldn’t have done a moment longer.
Better go and pour some wine.
Lots of love