Frydmania

I always thought so. But then, that was how I experienced it, reading my way through as much as I could get my hands on when I was growing up.

Words to make exciting things happen. Words to show complete understanding of how someone is feeling. Words that are more about feel than meaning – like feeling the water go past your hand when you put it over the side of a boat. Words that set a tone, that put a form of snapshot deep inside us.

But life is obviously complicated – more and more obviously so as we get older. Often the words come to a stop at a difficult situation. We find this for a family member just now, and it dries up the well of words.

Partly, I think there are so many words for some situations, so many separate feeling and fears and hurts and concerns that we don’t write/speak. If we start now, when will we stop?

Conversely, words have their own power. We may not experience speaking things into being, in a Biblical sense, but sometimes we don’t want to say it because we fear it is true, and if we say it, then it really is.

Sometimes, the situation is a private one, perhaps one that few others understand. When our feelings are ripped to shreds, why should we put our words out there too for further scrutiny?

Ironically, it is the courage to find the words when life is very hard that makes them all the more powerful. These words don’t just come tumbling out of a packet. They are carved out with sobs. They are squeezed out between the teeth. They wobble as they emerge and make it into breath.

But they are powerful because they are true, and real, and honest. They are powerful because sometimes words can be enough to show even a little of what is going on, and do it justice. And they are powerful because of how they connect with others, especially those looking for encouragement.

Luckily for many of us, these kinds of words are easier to find these days, through blogs, Facebook posts, online newspapers and members’ forums. I’ll say more tomorrow about some of what I’m reading just now – and why it matters that it’s out there.

Here’s the thing. Quite a lot of the other 31 day blogs are setting a theme, and some are planning out what to say when. Am I prepared to do the same?

So far, no deliberate planning. A few blog ideas are emerging as I do my daily walk to school but that’s about it. And I think I’d rather keep it that way. Because this blog, for me, is about following a train of thought for its own sake, being spontaneous…all those things that can get hard to do in daily life.

Hard to do in daily writing too. I became aware that a great deal of my writing, over the years, has been planned, one way or another. Once you’re into essay mode at school, and later at university, planning is the order of the day. And it tends to stay that way.

Some of that is helpful, when you’re grappling with a big subject area. And I credit Dan with teaching me to use subheadings, which prove very helpful in web writing too…But I see that, even amidst the increase in planned writing at school, I was still trying to find outlets for spontaneous writing, mainly through (ahem) poetry in my teenage years.

Every now and then, there were points where there was encouragement to write more spontaneously. We got some occasional creative writing sessions where I used to work, with some ideas to help us start writing. I’ll maybe share those another day.

The thing is, it’s so much easier to chart your course. And that’s not stupid, either. If you plan, all those things that workplaces want – consistency, thoroughness, and so on – come in. And they do tend to be helpful. For work.

But for word junkies, there’s something of the flow of spontaneous writing that is intoxicating. You feel alive. You feel relieved. You may even feel peaceful as the words make their way out onto whatever form your page takes.

I’ve never really just set out on a physical journey just to see where it takes me. Money, logistics, all those planning things set in soon enough. But I can journey through words, with no real concern as to where I go.

As long as I can rest along the way at times, I’ll follow my nose for now. To quote Robert Louis Stevenson, in a slightly different context:

“I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.”

So. Bit of back story. Where does the 31 days of writing thing come from?

I regularly read a blog called Tales from a Gypsy Mama, written by Lisa-Jo Baker, based in the US. The 31 days notion appeared on her blog on Friday last week, and chimed in with a feeling I’d had about writing for myself again.

When I think about Lisa-Jo’s blog, perhaps read is the wrong word. Devour would have been more like it, when I first came across it. Probably because it was the first time in a while that I could see someone so caught up with the enjoyment of writing – and also because the posts are so good. Go and see for yourself.

Lisa-Jo had learned about the 31 days of writing from another site, the Nester, where she (I don’t actually know her name, let’s call her Ms Nest) has written a blog post every day over the 31 days of October. She’s done it for a few years, and last year, asked people following her own blog to join her. Nearly 800 people signed up.

Here’s the catch. I’m not ‘affiliated’ with it as such, though I’m contemplating that. I don’t really have a theme – nor do I have a ‘button’ for my site which states what I’m doing. Probably because I’m still hiding my writing intentions a little. Perhaps also, part of me doesn’t want to join a bandwagon, even one that is about encouraging writing.

So no roll call. No pack drill. No button. Just back to writing. And as I’ve been writing fairly regularly over September for something else, I have a bit of a writing hole to fill. I think this might just do it.

Hello again. It’s been a while.  Three years, in fact.

Autumn is often the time I seem to come back to blogging. The light fades, you’re inside more. I think the story telling gene kicks in at that time. No wonder there’s a storytelling festival in October – the season lends itself to if.

So, three years on, I’m writing as my day job. (And getting paid for it!) I’m learning to turn on the words, whether or not my inner editor is happy with them initially, and then sift them to see what stays, what goes.

More go, these days.  That’s the discipline of web writing – fewer words.  My former school teachers would find it hard to believe.  Even my maths teacher thought I would have done better if I could have expressed myself in fewer words.

The difference, now, is that I’m stopping apologising for writing. A lot. Because I’ve discovered other people blogging who also write about how they can’t stop writing. And I enjoy reading what they have to say, so it can’t be an entirely unhealthy compulsion.

I find that even though I’m doing paid writing for some of the daytime, I still want to write in the evenings. Facebook does for a bit.  But after writing about other people’s subjects, there’s still plenty to say.

Here goes.